People ask me every year whay is the 4th of july so important to you? The answer is simple and complex at the same time. When I was a little girl I can remember sitting on my Grandpa's knee and him telling me if you do not love this country then you leave this country! For me it is just that simple, how dare you stand and protest military that gives you the freedom to stand up and protest! I do not have much paitence for folks like that.
July 4th is all about family, childhood memories, cookouts, and most importantly appreciating the freedom to worship God in any way you can. So this Saturday when you are sitting around, just take a breath look around and be thankful for a God who loves us, and pray for this country as it goes through a new era. We as christains face a grave issue, It is time for us to not stand and fight but kneel in prayer. Praying God will heal our nation as He has done so many times!
You know deliverance is something as human beings we ask for a lot. It hit me the other day just how much I ask for it. Stuff like please get me out of this traffic, I need a closer parking space, please let it rain cuz I am hot, I need a new job, etc.
Here's what the Lord just shared with me, literally right now, ha I had to get it out before I forget. Do we as a people want deliverance from our situation or from the enemy causing the problem. Sure I believe asking for deliverance from certain "situations" but how many times does it take before we get the lesson, and move on? What does it need to take to wake me up?
Last Tuesday was the last time for me to be apart of the food bank at Faith. It was 100 degrees no air conditioner. We were short handed. And it was a very emotional time for all involved this whole journey that we have been down. I found myself all day long asking God to send deliverance in the form of rain. It looked like rain that morning! But the more I asked the hotter it seemed to become. What I wanted deliverance from my situation. What I needed was deliverance from the enemy causing the problem. I even mentioned in passing to Dana I guess the Lord will not send the rain today. I was wrong, see He had already sent the rain. It was time for a new season and a time to grow. You cannot grow all the time in the rain, you need sunshine too. I am so thankful that the Lord still gives us dry periods to grow even though He longs to shelter us with the rain. We must grow strong to fight the enemy! So sisters take comfort in all we do, we are not forgotten, or left behind. Our ministries were not in vain and the enemy took no victory from the kingdom! Love and Peace
Everybody has those moments in life that everything slows down around you and you get a glimpse of life and how it would be without you. My moment came about two weeks ago 30,000 feet above the ground. I would love to tell you everything about that moment or just say that I had some kind of spiritual vision in those few moments. I can not even tell you where I went but I do know this I was very lucky that I got to come back at all. I have not spoke of this moment to anyone or even said much of anything simply because it's almost too much to think about. I know some things for sure... I saw no blinding light just a sense of weightlessness. If Mel had not been there to pray I know i would not be here today, because I think some part of me wanted to keep floating. I would love to say I saw my life flash before me and it was full filling hahaha. I had only one thought and that was I hurt for my sister who was sitting beside me and I thought of him. Would he be sad? I wishing I had not been so stubborn and called him before I left. That's when I heard His voice in my head. See I have a saying that I say when things in life get too tough or exhausting or just plain stressful. I cannot die because I have not suffered enough. Thinking back on it now it is kind of a slap in the face to Jesus who bearing all my sin toted the cross to Calvary. He asked me just one question have you suffered enough are you done? The easy thing would have been to say yes I am ready, but as I thought I realized I have too much to do. He promises even though it will not be easy and I will probably suffer along this journey I will not suffer alone. See He has never left and each time I have been let down or had my heart broken. I must learn to lean on Him instead of trusting in myself or friends. So friends this is my life changing moment, pretty involved take it or leave it. I thought if someone could get just one thing out of all this it would make it worth sharing!
See this is why I will never be happy in my life. I will always want the dramatic heroic enterance where the good guy always gets his girl. The reality is that people are just people and what I need is a fairytale. So why am I defective? Who knows.
Looking out of this veranda I feel a certain home coming or kinship. Is it wrong to want something more for me or my life? I have been told that it is the sadness that draws me back to this particular house over and over again. I have been told that "I" would not have made it in this time period either. hah ha So tell what do you think draws me back? Once or twice a year you can find me surfing the net or "jonsing" to go back or just flat out going 131 miles out of my way to see this special place. It could be a number of things that draw me but tonight as I was trying to put my finger on it this came to me. As I stood on the veranda I could see the Mississippi River, feel the wind, and look at the majestic view of the trees that have lived over 300 years. The tour guide was talking about previous owners and how one man stood on the porch while close to death waiting for the return of his wife. I felt a sort of kinship with him because how many times have I found myself waiting on the one I love the most to come to the realization that they love me too. She went on talking of other things, and me in true form was only half listening till she mentioned in passing that the trees I was so admiring would only live for 300 more years. Imagine in just 300 short years someone would miss out on the beauty of what I was witnessing at that moment. (see live oaks only live around 600 years) I was praying tonight and this is maybe why I am drawn to this house with this view, Jesus has promised to go and prepare a place in His Father's house for me. I have heard since I was a little girl that we will live in mansions when we get up there. (lol for those of ya'll that just went back to the "camp meetings" we used to have about what a time we are going to have over there!) So this is my thought maybe The Lord has given me a glimpse of how my mansion will look!! Now when I picture myself on the veranda it is me awaiting anxiously for my Hero to return for me. Now I know it is not a different time or place that draws me back to this special place just a need and want to be ready for He returns for me!
Very few people get to date their best friends and fewer still get the honor of fallin in love with that person. I was one of the fortunate ones. The only downside is that things happen and you are guaranteed nothin in this life. The video that I made is called Where I stood by Missy Higgins. It's all about a girl who has lost who and what she is. She is not sure of anything anymore. She begins a journey of self discovery which is where my life is now. Discovery.
I still love my best friend although life is weird without spendin so much time without him. But I am learnin a great deal about myself in the process. We are still friends that much has not changed I can say he is still the one I want to share my darkest secrets with. LOL (Corny I know) The only reason I share this now is I miss him greatly,but for now this break is what I need. Many of you have noticed a difference and I felt that if you were going to be prayin for me, you should know a lil more.
About me? I have two full time jobs. I own All American Curls and I work for Redken. I travel quite a bit which I love! (cuz I am adhd) lol I love to sing and am actively in church. We are involved in watching the LORD do amazing miracle in our food bank!
